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About Other / Student Member Just call me PunkFemale/United States Group :iconakuzekuclub: AkuZekuClub
Axel x Zexion
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Meh yeah, been noticing I keep making journal entries but less artwork gonna try and fix that:shrug: Before I start, just want to give a heads up (to anyone that is interested in knowing) that I'll be going over to Anime Los Angeles from January 9th to January 11th. If any of my online friends or watchers are going it'd be cool to meet up with you guys! Anyway, I sorta feel like I need to write something since maybe writing this might help me back either feeling somewhat better or at least get me in a drawing mood again since this has been bugging me. Somewhat take this as a personal journal but nothing too serious, hell feel free to ignore it too, I'm just blabbering away.



[WARNING: LONG POST AND MINDLESS RAMBLING]



So, guess I should start with I'm glad that I finally got off for the semester (actually been off since Wednesday). This semester wasn't too bad, but definitely stressful one. Just too many problems rising for some reason, whether it be something personal or something school related. And well now I sorta feel bad but good at the same time since well I finally decided to skip the next semester, hell might just get my Associates and finish with a joke of a community college. Honestly it's not like the college was helping me anyway, mostly just kept changing what classes I needed to take and what was 'recommended'. So hopefully without worrying about school now I can try and talk with the University that I want to go to. I guess the only few reasons why I even feel bad for leaving is because 1) I sorta feel incomplete and like I wasted my time, hell I guess if I went for an Associates first then transfer (instead of trying to transfer right away like I had done now) I probably already be at my ideal school and 2) wouldn't get to hang out or see much of friends anymore now(though honestly I guess that isn't that important, just means less friends to meet up with). But what's done is done, and I just hope it goes well when I go talk to the school about getting my degree instead, make this a lot easier than what it needs to be. 

The only other thing I want say is, again, I noticed how I'm just keeping away from friends and family. Really I'm hoping this is just a mood that I can get over soon, as the holidays are around the corner. This started since mid September since I realized a lot of my relationships with friends and family weren't going so well. Even wound up breaking up with my partner because of various reasons which I won't say since they actually took it pretty well, even stayed as friends. Which although admitting it felt like some weight was lifted off, still didn't stop the stress others would give me. My relationship with my family hasn't been all that good, been actually fighting a lot with them and getting mad at them in general. As for friends, well I kinda feel like I'm everyone's counselor that no one gives two fucks for. Like, a lot of people that I consider from acquaintances to barely friends, seem to come over and ask me for advice. Which honestly I wouldn't mind, if it weren't for the fact they do the exact opposite for the advice I give them. And again wouldn't bother me too much if let's say they went ahead and asked a few others for advice, too what we said and just picked whichever felt right to them. But nope, turns out I'm the only one they go to, maybe the second person they ask. And here's what really bugs me from these 'friends' of mine that do this. Literally on the day they ask for my input on something, the next day or two they do what the exact opposite of what I suggested. At least try what I suggest or hell don't ask if you don't even take it to consideration. As an example of this, Friend A is more or less trying to get over their ex (let's call them DoucheBag A) since their relationship didn't go all that well. I suggest that hanging out with friends or at least do or go somewhere that would take their mind off things. But friend decides to tell me 'no that won't work' without even trying and turns out that two days later, they got back with DoucheBag A. I mean, okay why did you even ask me if you pretty much are telling me to fuck myself and you'll do what you want. I'm pretty when you ask for advice it takes time to think about it or better yet at least try out what they said. But yeah, maybe I'm taking it too personal, but this is something that really irks me. And this doesn't make it any better when my closest friends are also feeling down in the dumps and I feel useless because either they don't tell me anything or don't want anyone to do anything thus making themselves feel shitty and me at the same time. Fuck, some even told me that I 'wouldn't understand' or 'I'd just judge them on their decisions'. Like how the hell am I suppose to feel after being told something like that? Again, perhaps taking it personally but then it's like, why are you guys wondering why I don't want to hang out or be near any of you if this is the shit you do this to me? Only one or two friends haven't been treating me like some ragdoll so I honestly start feeling bad that I ignore them or don't hang out with them.

I guess the worst part of all this, I have such conflicting feels. One day, I just want everyone everywhere to leave me alone, don't want them to talk to me, or pretend I don't exist but then the next day I feel lonely and dumb because I'll want someone with me. Then I'll start thinking about going into a relationship again but then tell myself it's not worth the stress or no one's gonna want to be with me. Makes it worse being in a small town, so either everyone's in a relationship already or they might be someone you went out with already that you know that getting back together won't solve anything. Long distance also has been taboo-ish for me because I have tried it before and really it never works out. I don't know I feel dumb if I'd jump back into a relationship but at the same time lonely because then everyone else is happy with their boyfriends/girlfriends (especially when more than half your friends happen to always go out with their partners).

I'm hoping after finishing this post, to take my mind off things I can get back into drawing. And to help bring up my mood too as I brought up in the beginning, I'll be going to ALA soon. It'll be my first time going but a few friends of mine (that aren't the ones making me go crazy) have gone before so I hope not to get completely lost. Dunno if I'll be cosplaying for that or not, but again glad the friends I'm going with are more or less telling me they can lend me some of theirs. But I guess I'll just wait and see. Last thing, because the holidays are coming up, I'm hoping to have enough money to buy myself Pokemon Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire. I've been quiet obsessed with that, so crossing my fingers to get it. If I do get it, I'll be sure to make a journal for it to trade friend codes since I love battling with friends! 

Well, that's about all I have to say. Thanks to anyone who took their time to read all this mess of a journal. Kinda feel bad for having you guys read this much, I feel like I should make it up to you all :iconawkwardplz::icononionfailplz: Perhaps I will, I honestly do feel bad for anyone that had to read this. But again, thanks so much for taking the time to read and I shall be going back to doing my requests and point commissions!


Hopefully on a better note next time,
~ Punk
  • Mood: Angsty
  • Watching: Wolf Children
  • Playing: Animal Crossing: New Leaf
As the title says, some small updates. Anyway, got a new laptop during 'Grey Thursday' so I'll be trying to do more digital art soon now :) speaking of soon, my semester will be done on Wednesday, meaning more art to come, especially for those who wanted RQ, AT, or PC from me (will post the status at the end)! Can't wait to get back into drawing more. One least thing, I've been thinking for a while and more or less wondering if I should make another account. The new account would be mostly for posting both my Fan Characters and possibly Original Characters I have came up with for the past few years and so this account doesn't become more cluster fucked than it is now. Normally I'm hesitant on making FC's and OC's but I do want to improve on making characters and character designs, so feedback for that would definitely help me out. Should I go for making a new account or just post my stuff here?
EDIT: After talking with a few online and 'real life' friends I decided to go for it and make another account! There's nothing there at the moment but feel free to watch and I'll try to upload art as soon as I can! :) :iconpunkyanianswers:PunkyAniAnswers

Status of 'Shop':
Requests
1):iconriverspirit22:RiverSpirit22 - Dark Pitt (from Kid Icarus Uprising) giving her a rose (10% done)
2)
3)

Art Trades
1)
2)
3)

Point Commissions
1):iconthe7thexperiment:The7thExperiment 1) Older!Punk and Kaa (sketch) (30% done) 2)Comic of Older!Punk and Kaa (digital) (0% done)
2):iconaoefreak9:aoefreak9 Pending Commission (Haven't been given anything to draw yet)
3)
  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: Random Playlist
  • Playing: Animal Crossing New Leaf
Meh yeah, been noticing I keep making journal entries but less artwork gonna try and fix that:shrug: Before I start, just want to give a heads up (to anyone that is interested in knowing) that I'll be going over to Anime Los Angeles from January 9th to January 11th. If any of my online friends or watchers are going it'd be cool to meet up with you guys! Anyway, I sorta feel like I need to write something since maybe writing this might help me back either feeling somewhat better or at least get me in a drawing mood again since this has been bugging me. Somewhat take this as a personal journal but nothing too serious, hell feel free to ignore it too, I'm just blabbering away.



[WARNING: LONG POST AND MINDLESS RAMBLING]



So, guess I should start with I'm glad that I finally got off for the semester (actually been off since Wednesday). This semester wasn't too bad, but definitely stressful one. Just too many problems rising for some reason, whether it be something personal or something school related. And well now I sorta feel bad but good at the same time since well I finally decided to skip the next semester, hell might just get my Associates and finish with a joke of a community college. Honestly it's not like the college was helping me anyway, mostly just kept changing what classes I needed to take and what was 'recommended'. So hopefully without worrying about school now I can try and talk with the University that I want to go to. I guess the only few reasons why I even feel bad for leaving is because 1) I sorta feel incomplete and like I wasted my time, hell I guess if I went for an Associates first then transfer (instead of trying to transfer right away like I had done now) I probably already be at my ideal school and 2) wouldn't get to hang out or see much of friends anymore now(though honestly I guess that isn't that important, just means less friends to meet up with). But what's done is done, and I just hope it goes well when I go talk to the school about getting my degree instead, make this a lot easier than what it needs to be. 

The only other thing I want say is, again, I noticed how I'm just keeping away from friends and family. Really I'm hoping this is just a mood that I can get over soon, as the holidays are around the corner. This started since mid September since I realized a lot of my relationships with friends and family weren't going so well. Even wound up breaking up with my partner because of various reasons which I won't say since they actually took it pretty well, even stayed as friends. Which although admitting it felt like some weight was lifted off, still didn't stop the stress others would give me. My relationship with my family hasn't been all that good, been actually fighting a lot with them and getting mad at them in general. As for friends, well I kinda feel like I'm everyone's counselor that no one gives two fucks for. Like, a lot of people that I consider from acquaintances to barely friends, seem to come over and ask me for advice. Which honestly I wouldn't mind, if it weren't for the fact they do the exact opposite for the advice I give them. And again wouldn't bother me too much if let's say they went ahead and asked a few others for advice, too what we said and just picked whichever felt right to them. But nope, turns out I'm the only one they go to, maybe the second person they ask. And here's what really bugs me from these 'friends' of mine that do this. Literally on the day they ask for my input on something, the next day or two they do what the exact opposite of what I suggested. At least try what I suggest or hell don't ask if you don't even take it to consideration. As an example of this, Friend A is more or less trying to get over their ex (let's call them DoucheBag A) since their relationship didn't go all that well. I suggest that hanging out with friends or at least do or go somewhere that would take their mind off things. But friend decides to tell me 'no that won't work' without even trying and turns out that two days later, they got back with DoucheBag A. I mean, okay why did you even ask me if you pretty much are telling me to fuck myself and you'll do what you want. I'm pretty when you ask for advice it takes time to think about it or better yet at least try out what they said. But yeah, maybe I'm taking it too personal, but this is something that really irks me. And this doesn't make it any better when my closest friends are also feeling down in the dumps and I feel useless because either they don't tell me anything or don't want anyone to do anything thus making themselves feel shitty and me at the same time. Fuck, some even told me that I 'wouldn't understand' or 'I'd just judge them on their decisions'. Like how the hell am I suppose to feel after being told something like that? Again, perhaps taking it personally but then it's like, why are you guys wondering why I don't want to hang out or be near any of you if this is the shit you do this to me? Only one or two friends haven't been treating me like some ragdoll so I honestly start feeling bad that I ignore them or don't hang out with them.

I guess the worst part of all this, I have such conflicting feels. One day, I just want everyone everywhere to leave me alone, don't want them to talk to me, or pretend I don't exist but then the next day I feel lonely and dumb because I'll want someone with me. Then I'll start thinking about going into a relationship again but then tell myself it's not worth the stress or no one's gonna want to be with me. Makes it worse being in a small town, so either everyone's in a relationship already or they might be someone you went out with already that you know that getting back together won't solve anything. Long distance also has been taboo-ish for me because I have tried it before and really it never works out. I don't know I feel dumb if I'd jump back into a relationship but at the same time lonely because then everyone else is happy with their boyfriends/girlfriends (especially when more than half your friends happen to always go out with their partners).

I'm hoping after finishing this post, to take my mind off things I can get back into drawing. And to help bring up my mood too as I brought up in the beginning, I'll be going to ALA soon. It'll be my first time going but a few friends of mine (that aren't the ones making me go crazy) have gone before so I hope not to get completely lost. Dunno if I'll be cosplaying for that or not, but again glad the friends I'm going with are more or less telling me they can lend me some of theirs. But I guess I'll just wait and see. Last thing, because the holidays are coming up, I'm hoping to have enough money to buy myself Pokemon Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire. I've been quiet obsessed with that, so crossing my fingers to get it. If I do get it, I'll be sure to make a journal for it to trade friend codes since I love battling with friends! 

Well, that's about all I have to say. Thanks to anyone who took their time to read all this mess of a journal. Kinda feel bad for having you guys read this much, I feel like I should make it up to you all :iconawkwardplz::icononionfailplz: Perhaps I will, I honestly do feel bad for anyone that had to read this. But again, thanks so much for taking the time to read and I shall be going back to doing my requests and point commissions!


Hopefully on a better note next time,
~ Punk
  • Mood: Angsty
  • Watching: Wolf Children
  • Playing: Animal Crossing: New Leaf

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punkanimelover's Profile Picture
punkanimelover
Just call me Punk
Artist | Student | Other
United States
Before anyone asks or is mistaken, that lovely picture
right there is done by my best friend StraywolfSeries88!
I think this is pretty bad ass >:3
So thanks so much for the picture and being awesome!
________________________________________

My Tumblr: punkanimelover.tumblr.com/
Would highly give out a fair warning that if you follow me
That I do happen to follow a lot of fandoms
Also I am somewhat open minded, so there might be things
We might agree or not agree on
________________________________________

Alrighty, well since I've been wanting to try this out for a while,
Gonna do Point Commissions. I'll be start off with low prices
For now, at least until I believe my artwork's improve more.
So on with the pricing:
Sketches-5:iconpointsplz:
Outline/Line Art-10:iconpointsplz:
Colored (Digital)-15:iconpointsplz:
Add more charcters-2:iconpointsplz: per person

(( I'll add pics as soon as I can))
Quick: you will need to pay first! I am only
Saying this because of how I noticed a few friends being
Ripped off when they do the commission with no pay.

Anyway, thanks to geekgirl8 for helping me out with
This! I owe you one!

________________________________________

I have a couple of RP accounts if you want to check them out:
:iconaskhong-kong:

:iconchibihongkong-rp:

________________________________________

Extended Account: :iconpunkyanianswers:PunkyAniAnswers
________________________________________
Request/Art Trades/Commissions Waiting For:
N/A

Request/Art Trade/Commissions Need To Finish:
ON HOLD
:icondenny-art13: (I'm trying to get it done, but not good with drawing Sega characters >.< )

________________________________________

:iconpointcommissionsopen: :iconrequestsopen: :icontradesask: :icongiftsfriendsonly: :iconnocommissions: :iconnokiribans:
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:iconshiruba-wakahisa:
Shiruba-Wakahisa Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks a lot for the fave! =D
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:iconpunkanimelover:
punkanimelover Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Student Artist
No problem! Thank you for the llama!! :)
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:iconzeldafan17:
zeldafan17 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks 4 faving :3
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:iconpunkanimelover:
punkanimelover Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2014  Student Artist
No problem :)
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:iconzeldafan17:
zeldafan17 Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:)
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:iconpunkanimelover:
punkanimelover Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2014  Student Artist
:D
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:icondraculablade:
draculablade Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014
happy birthday :cake:
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:iconpunkanimelover:
punkanimelover Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014  Student Artist
Thanks! :)
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:iconzeldafan17:
zeldafan17 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy birthday :)
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:iconpunkanimelover:
punkanimelover Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2014  Student Artist
Thank you ^w^~
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